Action at Smurf village.
Today I am going to reveal a big secret about the Smurf village. It is something your parents didn't want you to know when you were little, but that you always suspected.
You might have asked yourselves, "Hey, who do Smurfs have sex with?". The truth is that we are never privy to their most intimate moments, and they don't make any insinuations either. Well, today I'm here to tell you the entire truth about the Smurf villagers.
Before the arrival of Smurfette, all the Smurfs had sex with each other (yes, even Papa Smurf, but not Vanity Smurf, that dude only jerks off), and sometimes there were mass gay orgies in which the entire village would partake. The origin of Smurfette is a bit hazy, but that's only because they don't want you to know the truth. The official Smurfsite deliberately confuses us with this statement: "The wicked Gargamel originally created Smurfette to stir up trouble in the village. But Papa Smurf’s magic turned into the charming little Smurf that everyone adores."
That is only a half-truth. Gargamel DID create Smurfette, but to have her as his sex slave, because, let's face it, how cool is it to have a tiny chick do anything you want? After he created her, Papa Smurf stole her from him and took her back the Smurf village because he was tired of always taking it up the bum. Smurfette immediately agreed to go to the village because she's just one huge ho, and she's been enjoying little blue cock ever since.
This is Smurfette being a ho.
That is the truth to the mystery of Smurfette, and now we will move on to another mystery. That is, where did Baby Smurf come from? The website, again to throw us off, mentions that "On a blue, moonlit night, Baby Smurf was brought to the village by a stork."
Bastard Baby Smurf.
The truth there is that one day, as the Smurfs were having their weekly orgies, Hefty's rubber broke and Smurfette wasn't on the pill, but she was so embarrased about that that she stayed in her Smurfhouse for the entire time she was pregnant (that's 4 days), and then made up this bullshit story about a stork. Of course, the other Smurfs (even Hefty) believed it, because as you already very well know, Smurfs never talk about sex, they just do it.
This is the entire truth, and it leaves us with a ho and a bastard.
You might have asked yourselves, "Hey, who do Smurfs have sex with?". The truth is that we are never privy to their most intimate moments, and they don't make any insinuations either. Well, today I'm here to tell you the entire truth about the Smurf villagers.
Before the arrival of Smurfette, all the Smurfs had sex with each other (yes, even Papa Smurf, but not Vanity Smurf, that dude only jerks off), and sometimes there were mass gay orgies in which the entire village would partake. The origin of Smurfette is a bit hazy, but that's only because they don't want you to know the truth. The official Smurfsite deliberately confuses us with this statement: "The wicked Gargamel originally created Smurfette to stir up trouble in the village. But Papa Smurf’s magic turned into the charming little Smurf that everyone adores."
That is only a half-truth. Gargamel DID create Smurfette, but to have her as his sex slave, because, let's face it, how cool is it to have a tiny chick do anything you want? After he created her, Papa Smurf stole her from him and took her back the Smurf village because he was tired of always taking it up the bum. Smurfette immediately agreed to go to the village because she's just one huge ho, and she's been enjoying little blue cock ever since.
This is Smurfette being a ho.
That is the truth to the mystery of Smurfette, and now we will move on to another mystery. That is, where did Baby Smurf come from? The website, again to throw us off, mentions that "On a blue, moonlit night, Baby Smurf was brought to the village by a stork."
Bastard Baby Smurf.
The truth there is that one day, as the Smurfs were having their weekly orgies, Hefty's rubber broke and Smurfette wasn't on the pill, but she was so embarrased about that that she stayed in her Smurfhouse for the entire time she was pregnant (that's 4 days), and then made up this bullshit story about a stork. Of course, the other Smurfs (even Hefty) believed it, because as you already very well know, Smurfs never talk about sex, they just do it.
This is the entire truth, and it leaves us with a ho and a bastard.
posted by Poromenos at 4:17 PM
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