Murphy's Law.
OK. Seriously, what is wrong with the universe? Do you know that law that says that basically nothing will ever go well for you? It's true. Whenever I buy something shiny, like, say, a new screen, and I go into a chatroom to brag about it, this is what happens:
Me: Hey guys, I got a new Sony 17" monitor!
PersonA: Big deal, I have the new LG 45" super-slim TFT screen!
So then I just shake my fist at them, yell and leave. The next day I write a nice program and I again go to brag about it, and it's like this:
I: Hey guys, I wrote a cool program.
PersonB: Cool, what does it do?
I: It's a student database in C++.
PersonC: Oh big deal, I wrote mine in assembly and it has windows and it can even make coffee.
I then wish plagues upon everyone's house and leave again, chagrined. In the next few days I develop a slight inferiority complex and try to do something to pass my time, like copy a DVD. I enter the chatroom again and seek help from the versed professionals dwelling there, but to my dismay, Murphy's law is in effect:
I: Hi guys, I just got a DVD, can anyone tell me how to copy my files?
PersonC: A DVD? What's that?
I: The thing you watch movies on.
PersonC: Oh, you can write files on it?
I: Uh, yeah.
PersonC: Wow, how do you do that?
I: ...
I pose this question to you: How can it be that whenever I want to show off there's always someone that does it better than me, yet whenever I need help, everyone's IQ seems to drop 100 units? I could ask the simplest question and people stop for a moment and stare at me with a kind of frightened look, much like cows looking at the meat grinder, before continuing to graze.
I am sure the universe has conspired against me. I am sure that all these molecules and crap have united to stop me from getting any joy in this life. I am sure that right now they are looking at me and laughing their little round asses off, but I will have my revenge. I will develop new methods of nuclear fission and convert all the buggers to energy. Then I will be rich and I won't need anyone to answer my questions, I will have enough money to buy things the way I want them. Shut up.
Me: Hey guys, I got a new Sony 17" monitor!
PersonA: Big deal, I have the new LG 45" super-slim TFT screen!
So then I just shake my fist at them, yell and leave. The next day I write a nice program and I again go to brag about it, and it's like this:
I: Hey guys, I wrote a cool program.
PersonB: Cool, what does it do?
I: It's a student database in C++.
PersonC: Oh big deal, I wrote mine in assembly and it has windows and it can even make coffee.
I then wish plagues upon everyone's house and leave again, chagrined. In the next few days I develop a slight inferiority complex and try to do something to pass my time, like copy a DVD. I enter the chatroom again and seek help from the versed professionals dwelling there, but to my dismay, Murphy's law is in effect:
I: Hi guys, I just got a DVD, can anyone tell me how to copy my files?
PersonC: A DVD? What's that?
I: The thing you watch movies on.
PersonC: Oh, you can write files on it?
I: Uh, yeah.
PersonC: Wow, how do you do that?
I: ...
I pose this question to you: How can it be that whenever I want to show off there's always someone that does it better than me, yet whenever I need help, everyone's IQ seems to drop 100 units? I could ask the simplest question and people stop for a moment and stare at me with a kind of frightened look, much like cows looking at the meat grinder, before continuing to graze.
I am sure the universe has conspired against me. I am sure that all these molecules and crap have united to stop me from getting any joy in this life. I am sure that right now they are looking at me and laughing their little round asses off, but I will have my revenge. I will develop new methods of nuclear fission and convert all the buggers to energy. Then I will be rich and I won't need anyone to answer my questions, I will have enough money to buy things the way I want them. Shut up.
posted by Poromenos at 10:27 PM
1 Comments:
Absolutely right. However, it irks me to see that people don't recognise my abilties and importance and pretend to have something better than I do. Don't make me destroy you all.
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