Olympic good manners.

Hello all you non-Greek people. Today I would like to teach you something about Olympic ideals, the greatness of the Olympic spirit and all that crap. I have noticed that many foreign people have won medals in the Olympics, mainly from China, the U.S. and other less significant countries. I would like to say on that matter, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
In the olden days, all the ancient Greeks got together and discussed ways to prevent their turning into modern Greeks (they didn't succeed), and also played various sports that have been mentioned in previous posts. All the medals went to Greeks. Nowadays this isn't the case, many people from other countries are winning in sports. This is unacceptable. I, being the magnanimous person that I am, will allow you to win the silver and bronze medals to keep you happy. But gold medals are OFF LIMITS to non-Greeks.
It's not polite to win other people's games, that's kinda like playing hide-and-seek with your friends and the geeky boy from around the corner sees you and goes "hey, can I play?" and you think "well, what the heck, he's a good boy and so dorky that nobody plays with him anyway", so you let him play with you, and he wins. How rude is that?
I bet you don't like it when this happens, so you can imagine my anger and frustration. So if you are an athlete and you get to participate in future Olympics, whenever a Greek is ahead of you, make sure he stays ahead of you (unless you are a Greek athlete, then what the hell are you doing here, go train).
Like I said earlier, you are free to win the silver medal. I was going to start a petition to remove the silver medal because it is the worst position anyone can get, because it shows that you are almost the best but not quite, making you even suckier than the worst athlete in the world. Then I thought, why remove it when you can give it to other people? So, in all my generosity, I give that to you. Also, Namibia rocks.