Poromenos' drawing lessons.

As you can see, in my previous rant I have posted magnificent images of my vacation. You may be saying "Oh, Poromenos, Poromenos, teach me how to draw as magnificently as you." Because I am a kind and generous person I will say "What the hell? You can never draw like this, you silly person". However, I can teach you how to draw pictures that come close (or nowhere near close) to mine, so here we go.
First of all, you must buy a copy of Photoshop. Photoshop is the best program for drawing, and it is even a verb meaning "to draw", much like Google is a verb meaning "to search". If this hasn't convinced you about how great Photoshop is, I will tell you that not even Paint Shop Pro can match Photoshop's features, and it is an essential program if you are serious about drawing great pictures. So you must get that, it's totally worth the $700 you have to pay. After you get that, we can start the lessons now. I'm using Paint Shop Pro, which is the same as Photoshop, because like hell am I going to pay $700 for a program that does the same as Paint Shop Pro and I can use the Paint Shop Pro trial to draw for free. So you Photoshop users, it's almost the same thing, so when I say "Paintbrush", you will go to the "Drawing brush" or whatever.
First of all, you must select the "Paintbrush" tool. Select the black colour and draw a circle, like this:

This will be the HEAD. Draw two little circles on it for eyes, and then draw the mouth and nose, like this:

Then, you will draw the body, drawing one line for the torso and four for the arms and legs, unless you want your person to have more than two arms or legs or tentacles or whatever:

You might think that you are done but you are wrong and you are expelled from class because nobody told you to think, did we? You must draw the hair, because nobody will know if it is a man or woman if your person is bald. Look at how much better this is:

Can you not immediately tell that it is a man now? You can keep adding various embellishments or traits to your person, such as this (I have drawn myself here):

I don't think that you will be able to draw like this because it requires lots of talent, but you can at least try. Don't worry if you don't succeed at first, because that only means you suck. Stop trying and do something else, like collecting garbage from the streets.
Good day.