In love (again)
Ladies and gentlemen (but mostly ladies. Actually only ladies, gentlemen go away), I'm sorry, but I have just become unavailable. It's not because I have found a new girlfriend (sadly), but because of my new infatuation. After Kate Beckinsale, Kathleen Robertson, Kathy Evison and Jennifer Love Hewitt, here comes Elisha Cuthbert (honorable mention to Elizabeth Berkley who never made it to the top) to steal my heart. Starring in movies such as 24 (which is essentially a 18-hour movie), Love Actually and The Girl Next Door (a movie I am going to watch as soon as I finish writing this piece of crap), she has won my heart with her acting, wit and the fact that she is FUCKING HOT!
As you may or may not know or may have known and have forgotten (I think this sentence covers all the possibilities), from time to time I am prone to becoming infatuated with various women. The symptomatology of this infatuation includes but is not limited to daydreaming, dizziness, butterflies in the tummy, inability to think coherently, drowsiness and, more rarely, schizophrenia. It usually lasts 2-7 days and the patient has a high probability of regression upon sight of the aetiology.
After describing the epidemiology and symptoms of the disease, I would like to move on to the actual subject. For those of you who don't know Elisha, she is Jack's daughter in 24, Carol-Anne in Love Actually and the girl next door in "The Girl Next Door". She is blonde, has the cutest face I've ever seen, and her boobs are also great.
The only imperfection she has is that her facial features resemble those of my sister's rather strikingly, which immediately removes almost all sexual desire. Below is a comparison of my sister and Elisha:
As you can see, the two are virtually identical. Luckily my sister is a brunette and Elisha is blonde (you cannot distinguish Elisha's hair on the above image due to the monochromatism of the picture), so they don't look too much alike. (NO, YOU CANNOT MEET MY SISTER YOU FILTHY LOSER.)
Having stated the above, I am now free to go watch the movie which I hear is R rated due to pornographic content (or pr0n to you losers) which I hope Elisha is a big part of (she is SOOOOOOOOO DREAMY! ^_^). I will maybe let you know of my impressions later. If you are Elisha Cuthbert, email me at ILoveElisha@poromenos.org
As you may or may not know or may have known and have forgotten (I think this sentence covers all the possibilities), from time to time I am prone to becoming infatuated with various women. The symptomatology of this infatuation includes but is not limited to daydreaming, dizziness, butterflies in the tummy, inability to think coherently, drowsiness and, more rarely, schizophrenia. It usually lasts 2-7 days and the patient has a high probability of regression upon sight of the aetiology.
After describing the epidemiology and symptoms of the disease, I would like to move on to the actual subject. For those of you who don't know Elisha, she is Jack's daughter in 24, Carol-Anne in Love Actually and the girl next door in "The Girl Next Door". She is blonde, has the cutest face I've ever seen, and her boobs are also great.
The only imperfection she has is that her facial features resemble those of my sister's rather strikingly, which immediately removes almost all sexual desire. Below is a comparison of my sister and Elisha:
As you can see, the two are virtually identical. Luckily my sister is a brunette and Elisha is blonde (you cannot distinguish Elisha's hair on the above image due to the monochromatism of the picture), so they don't look too much alike. (NO, YOU CANNOT MEET MY SISTER YOU FILTHY LOSER.)
Having stated the above, I am now free to go watch the movie which I hear is R rated due to pornographic content (or pr0n to you losers) which I hope Elisha is a big part of (she is SOOOOOOOOO DREAMY! ^_^). I will maybe let you know of my impressions later. If you are Elisha Cuthbert, email me at ILoveElisha@poromenos.org
posted by Poromenos at 8:51 PM
1 Comments:
Hello, this is Elisha Cuthbert,
I am required by the "Law of Hotties" to immediately sex anyone who has a crush on me. To mister Poromenos, please send me your address, telephone number, and favourite colour of leather, so that I may schedule a rendez-vous.
To mister Crommunist, you are also on the list, simply because you sound so cool and sexy-hot.
Sincerely,
Elisha "I can't believe you forgot Popular Mechanics for Kids" Cuthbert
P.S. That other guy on PMK is indeed gay, I checked.
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