Search for One-eye Jimmy, The.
Yesterday I didn't know what to do, so I went over to the video store and I looked for hours to find a movie I'd like to watch, but in vain, as I had seen most of them already. I asked for a good comedy because I didn't want to be bummed out again ("Lilja 4 Ever" sucks and so does "Sonny"), and I was promptly instructed that "comedies are over there". So, here I am, going over there, and as I was browsing the movies on the shelf, I see... "THE SEARCH FOR ONE-EYE JIMMY!" So I'm thinking "Hey, there's Steve Buscemi, and that guy from Mr. Jeeves and some other dude I don't know, and there's a one-eyed dude in it, so I can't lose, can I?" BIG mistake.
I rented it, took it home and popped it in the DVD player. Things went kinda blurry from there, but I will narrate what I DO remember. There was this journalist or something that did a story on the particular neighbourhood for some reason, and he stumbled upon the discovery that One-eye Jimmy had been lost like a few days ago. "Eureka!", he thought! "This story is going to make me rich and famous", he also thought, hoping that One-eye Jimmy would be dead and that he would be the only reporter to document something of that magnitude on tape. And so, THE SEARCH FOR ONE-EYE JIMMY begins!
They roam faraway lands and strange places (their neighbourhood) in a futile quest to return Jimmy to his rightful owner (his mother). In this quest they meet many a farcical character like the guy from Mr. Jeeves (John Turturro? Yeah, him) and other useless people. At some point they "rescue" a hooker from her manager who rightfully wants to claim his share of her earnings, the bastards. At some other point, they throw a party hoping that Jimmy would hear about it and show up(?) or something like that.
After the party, and while Jimmy is nowhere to be seen, his mother begins to despair and realise that she is never going to see her dumbass lazy son alive again. At that exact moment (or maybe earlier or later, I don't remember), like a deus ex machina, Jimmy appears! Everybody is overjoyed (except the reporter who lost his only shot at becoming famous, because he's obviously a hack and stupid), and they ask Jimmy where he had been. After these breathtaking (yawn) two-or-so hours, the question that was on every viewer's lips is about to be answered: "Where was Jimmy?!"
Wait for it... Jimmy had LOCKED HIS DUMB FUCKING ASS IN THE BASEMENT LAUNDRY ROOM when he tried to do some laundry and the lock jammed or something, and he couldn't call the super because he was away on vacation. HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN HE BE?! I was overjoyed at having wasted my money to see this piece of shit, and I wished wholeheartedly that Jimmy died after losing his other eye.
The picture was horrible (it looked like it had been shot with a goddamn camera obscura), and the plot was so dumb that made you think "Wait, it can't be that dumb, I must have not understood something and this is actually great." Only it turns out that you didn't miss anything, except maybe your $2.50. How did all these actors get together in this monstrosity? Did they just say "hey, let's see if we can make a film that costs more to rent than make, while ruining our reputations at the same time!" Well, they succeeded. This is a good movie to see if you are suicidal, it gives you a purpose in life, and that purpose is not to rest until every single person in this movie is dead or in jail for the rest of their lives.
Other than that, I enjoyed the film a lot.
I rented it, took it home and popped it in the DVD player. Things went kinda blurry from there, but I will narrate what I DO remember. There was this journalist or something that did a story on the particular neighbourhood for some reason, and he stumbled upon the discovery that One-eye Jimmy had been lost like a few days ago. "Eureka!", he thought! "This story is going to make me rich and famous", he also thought, hoping that One-eye Jimmy would be dead and that he would be the only reporter to document something of that magnitude on tape. And so, THE SEARCH FOR ONE-EYE JIMMY begins!
They roam faraway lands and strange places (their neighbourhood) in a futile quest to return Jimmy to his rightful owner (his mother). In this quest they meet many a farcical character like the guy from Mr. Jeeves (John Turturro? Yeah, him) and other useless people. At some point they "rescue" a hooker from her manager who rightfully wants to claim his share of her earnings, the bastards. At some other point, they throw a party hoping that Jimmy would hear about it and show up(?) or something like that.
After the party, and while Jimmy is nowhere to be seen, his mother begins to despair and realise that she is never going to see her dumbass lazy son alive again. At that exact moment (or maybe earlier or later, I don't remember), like a deus ex machina, Jimmy appears! Everybody is overjoyed (except the reporter who lost his only shot at becoming famous, because he's obviously a hack and stupid), and they ask Jimmy where he had been. After these breathtaking (yawn) two-or-so hours, the question that was on every viewer's lips is about to be answered: "Where was Jimmy?!"
Wait for it... Jimmy had LOCKED HIS DUMB FUCKING ASS IN THE BASEMENT LAUNDRY ROOM when he tried to do some laundry and the lock jammed or something, and he couldn't call the super because he was away on vacation. HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN HE BE?! I was overjoyed at having wasted my money to see this piece of shit, and I wished wholeheartedly that Jimmy died after losing his other eye.
The picture was horrible (it looked like it had been shot with a goddamn camera obscura), and the plot was so dumb that made you think "Wait, it can't be that dumb, I must have not understood something and this is actually great." Only it turns out that you didn't miss anything, except maybe your $2.50. How did all these actors get together in this monstrosity? Did they just say "hey, let's see if we can make a film that costs more to rent than make, while ruining our reputations at the same time!" Well, they succeeded. This is a good movie to see if you are suicidal, it gives you a purpose in life, and that purpose is not to rest until every single person in this movie is dead or in jail for the rest of their lives.
Other than that, I enjoyed the film a lot.
posted by Poromenos at 7:53 PM
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