English for foreigners.

Today I found out I have not been speaking English correctly all this time. I watched a crap movie where American soldiers went to a place in Africa or Asia or Antarctica and bought an elephant with a kid to torment them. From the first few moments of the movie it dawned on me that my English sucks. Apparently, people outside native English speaking countries should have no concept of the first person singular, and refer to themselves only in the third person, because this kid could speak immaculate English but only in the third person, sort of like IRC. You know, "/me likes sex". A sample phrase from the movie: "Lin is very happy that he has met your acquaintance. Lin would be grateful if you would allow him to accompany you and Lin's elephant on your quest for saving the world, as American soldiers in movies always do."
From now on Poromenos will talk like that. Poromenos sorry he could not speak English very well until now, but Poromenos not knew. Come to think of it, I think this only applies to Asians. I don't know what Greeks are supposed to talk like. Maybe we're all terrorists who can't speak.
Bah.