Homosexuals are gay.

I was out in the proverbial "park" the other day, and as I was walking my pet elephant (his name is Judith and he's 2 years old), I saw these two dudes, who were obviously pretty gay, kissing. I thought, flabbergasted, "omg wtf r these dudes doing, this sux", and I was appalled and shocked. I continued my walk, obviously disturbed, when I saw these two other chicks, who were also obviously pretty gay, kissing. Then I was like "wow, this rox, we should get more of that". I stood to watch them for a bit, but they must have noticed Judith after 10 minutes so I had to leave, making a mental note never to take him for a walk again, he's too conspicuous.
This prologue serves as an introduction to the following question, that torments me ever since: Should I support gays, lesbians, or neither/both? All of these choices have their advantages/disadvantages, on which I will promptly elaborate.

Supporting neither.

By supporting neither, you will most often be flagged as a damn bigot, and some people might figure out that your strong disapproval is a reaction to your oppressed homosexuality, or in other words that you're gay. BAD. I don't think there are any advantages to this opinion, so it's rejected.

Supporting lesbians.

This is a real quandary. As you surely know (or as any man will tell you, if you're a woman), The order of enjoyment in sex is, rated:
Two women and you (10/10)
Two women (9/10)
A woman (8/10)
A woman and you (7/10)
You (2/10)
A man and you (-124/10)
This argument seems to be clearly in favor of supporting lesbians, but the very very clear disadvantage is that for every lesbian couple, there are two less women that would sleep with me. That is very very disturbing and clearly a point to consider before reaching a verdict.

Supporting gays.

The disadvantage here is that two men having sex is disgusting, unless you're homosexual. Should one condone this behaviour in favor of its advantages? Considering that most homosexual people do not like to provoke and do not have sex in public or in your house, I would say that it doesn't bother me much. Although the same could be said about lesbians, but I hope lesbians will change their minds and have a lot of sex in public, or even better, in my house (LesbianOrgiesInMyHouse@poromenos.org, email me if you are a woman and willing to try). But, back to the subject in hand, the very very appealing advantage is that for every gay couple, there are two less men that compete with you, so your chances with the opposite sex are much higher. If we believe the various jokes, gay people are handsome, kind, caring, and rich, which is kinda like a lottery winner deciding to become a monk and giving you all the winnings.

Supporting both.

The advantage here is that everyone will think you are very open-minded and generally rock. The disadvantage is that category 1 will not like you very much and will probably think you are the spawn of satan, and will curse you in church on Sundays, so make sure your Save vs Spell is very high.
By the way, bisexual women do not belong in any of these categories. I am always in favor of bisexual women, there is no doubt about that (BisexualWomenHere@poromenos.org, email me, we'll get a ThreeOrMoresome going).
After a lot of thinking, I have decided that I will support both. I have reached this decision because I feel that lesbians are a great great source of enjoyment (just look at all the woman to woman porn), and I also feel that gay men will help offset the loss of two women and actually help in raising my odds. Finally, as long as gay men don't hit on me (OR SHOW ME PICTURES OF THEIR NAKED BOYFRIEND IN THE SHOWER, FUCK YOU, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), they are welcome to be as gay as they want, I support that.
Finally, I would like to stress that BISEXUAL WOMEN SHOULD CONTACT ME ASAP. No dogs please.