Shirts.
Hello dear readers! Today's post is somewhat special (I mean more special than all the other posts), since it is about one of our readers, who ACTUALLY BOUGHT one of our shirts (why are the rest of you lazy bastards not buying our shirts? Buy lots of them).
This is a picture of him brandishing (or wearing, I can't remember the order I put the pictures in) his new favorite T-shirt. The T-shirt elegantly depicts a person selling a gourouni in the agora and a gallo buying it.
This picture is something about the shirt also, there is really no hope for me to remember it, so let's pretend this is the one where the shirt's back is displayed. The proud owner of this T-shirt (who has had the great honour of knowing me) is proudly displaying the proud address of this site on the back of his shirt, proudly. He is clearly very proud of it, because now everyone who sees the shirt will go like this (sample conversation follows):
Some guy in a bar:
"Wow, look at that dude over there. He is wearing a Porocrom T-shirt, therefore he must be cool. I must pay homage to him. I will go prostrate myself before him right now." The guy then proceeds to become a slave of the wearer of the T-shirt for the rest of his life.
Another sample conversation illustrates colourfully what happens when women look at the shirt:
Hot chick in club #1:
"Wow, look at that dude. He is wearing a funny and interesting T-shirt. He looks like someone I would like to spank me. I shall take two of my hot friends and go over there and talk to him."
There you have it, undeniable proof that the sex-appeal of our shirts is almost supernatural. Why have you not got one yet? (Hint: if you already have one, buy another one and wear them one on top of the other to double the effect. The shirts can be stacked infinitely for maximum effect).
This is a picture where we will pretend he is displaying the picture on the shirt. This picture is clearly a work of art from a world-famous artist (me) and everyone wearing it, looking at it, or being in the same city as it must now enjoy life knowing that they have been blessed with one of the greatest honours ever.
Jeff C. (the owner of the shirt) will now be world-famous, since everyone who looks at the address in the back will no doubt visit the site and all the hot women will want to date him. (Girls, his phone number is 555-HOTT).
Lastly, I will bring to your attention some REAL stories from REAL people who have REALLY bought our REAL T-shirts.
Jeff C. bought our T-shirt and said:
"This is the best T-shirt ever. It is almost like second skin to me. When I wear it I am endowed with superpowers and my penis grows ten inches. My life has improved dramatically since I have purchased this T-shirt. I used to be a virgin, but now I have sex three times a day with two different women every day, and the ratio keeps rising. I got a promotion and now I am the CEO of Microsoft in Gambia, and I am running for president in the next US elections."
Mary B. didn't buy our T-shirt and she died a few hours later by a flock of wild bulls that stampeded through her house in midtown N.Y.
Jenny G. bought our T-shirt and her blind husband regained his sight just to look at the shirt, and when he did, he was instantly cured of cholera, dysentery, the bubonic plague, tooth decay and chronic impotence. Jenny said "Thank you for this, Porocrom!".
I could sit here and enumerate all the succes stories of people who have bought our shirt, but since only one has bought one, I would have to make them all up. I could also tell you of all the people that died, became vegetables or got married to the gorgeous and not at all unsightly Bette Davis because they wouldn't buy our shirts, but I am tired of writing. Bye.
P.S. YOU CAN BUY OUR T-SHIRTS USING THE LINKS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS PAGE.
This is a picture of him brandishing (or wearing, I can't remember the order I put the pictures in) his new favorite T-shirt. The T-shirt elegantly depicts a person selling a gourouni in the agora and a gallo buying it.
This picture is something about the shirt also, there is really no hope for me to remember it, so let's pretend this is the one where the shirt's back is displayed. The proud owner of this T-shirt (who has had the great honour of knowing me) is proudly displaying the proud address of this site on the back of his shirt, proudly. He is clearly very proud of it, because now everyone who sees the shirt will go like this (sample conversation follows):
Some guy in a bar:
"Wow, look at that dude over there. He is wearing a Porocrom T-shirt, therefore he must be cool. I must pay homage to him. I will go prostrate myself before him right now." The guy then proceeds to become a slave of the wearer of the T-shirt for the rest of his life.
Another sample conversation illustrates colourfully what happens when women look at the shirt:
Hot chick in club #1:
"Wow, look at that dude. He is wearing a funny and interesting T-shirt. He looks like someone I would like to spank me. I shall take two of my hot friends and go over there and talk to him."
There you have it, undeniable proof that the sex-appeal of our shirts is almost supernatural. Why have you not got one yet? (Hint: if you already have one, buy another one and wear them one on top of the other to double the effect. The shirts can be stacked infinitely for maximum effect).
This is a picture where we will pretend he is displaying the picture on the shirt. This picture is clearly a work of art from a world-famous artist (me) and everyone wearing it, looking at it, or being in the same city as it must now enjoy life knowing that they have been blessed with one of the greatest honours ever.
Jeff C. (the owner of the shirt) will now be world-famous, since everyone who looks at the address in the back will no doubt visit the site and all the hot women will want to date him. (Girls, his phone number is 555-HOTT).
Lastly, I will bring to your attention some REAL stories from REAL people who have REALLY bought our REAL T-shirts.
Jeff C. bought our T-shirt and said:
"This is the best T-shirt ever. It is almost like second skin to me. When I wear it I am endowed with superpowers and my penis grows ten inches. My life has improved dramatically since I have purchased this T-shirt. I used to be a virgin, but now I have sex three times a day with two different women every day, and the ratio keeps rising. I got a promotion and now I am the CEO of Microsoft in Gambia, and I am running for president in the next US elections."
Mary B. didn't buy our T-shirt and she died a few hours later by a flock of wild bulls that stampeded through her house in midtown N.Y.
Jenny G. bought our T-shirt and her blind husband regained his sight just to look at the shirt, and when he did, he was instantly cured of cholera, dysentery, the bubonic plague, tooth decay and chronic impotence. Jenny said "Thank you for this, Porocrom!".
I could sit here and enumerate all the succes stories of people who have bought our shirt, but since only one has bought one, I would have to make them all up. I could also tell you of all the people that died, became vegetables or got married to the gorgeous and not at all unsightly Bette Davis because they wouldn't buy our shirts, but I am tired of writing. Bye.
P.S. YOU CAN BUY OUR T-SHIRTS USING THE LINKS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS PAGE.
posted by Poromenos at 4:21 PM
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